Dear Padfoot
by angelbud2233
Summary: ((Companion to Dear Prongs. Read Dear Prongs first!))I knew as soon as I read the first line that this would be about Lily. You'd thought I'd abandon you like the rest. I didn't and do you want to know why?


Disclaimer: Own NOTHING.

This is the companion to _Dear Prongs_ that I, angelbud2233, wrote about and for my best friend. After my best friend read _Dear Prongs_ she suggested and offered to write a companion for it. I thought it was a great idea since she would be able to write James' response to the letter better than I ever could since it'd be in her point of view like I did for Sirius. So everything from here on out that you read below is from MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus, my best friend. Thanks Ren for doing this!!

A/N: Sorry this took so long to write. High school's overwhelming.  
  
Summary: I knew as soon as I read the first line that this would be about Lily. You'd thought I'd abandon you like the rest. I didn't and do you want to know why?  
  
Dear Padfoot

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Dear Padfoot,  
  
You know there is one thing we are taught when we are young and we never question it. Do you know what that one thing is, dear friend?  
  
Family.  
  
We are taught that Mummies and Daddies make babies that they love unconditionally. I've never told you this, but: when I first met you, I saw you were different. I saw you never knew of this "family" thing I most certainly had with my parents. The one thing that separates us is blood, Padfoot. That's the only thing that makes me unable to call you my brother.  
  
In reality, you are my brother. You're my best friend, my partner, my other half. I want to ask you: do you know what haunts my dreams, Sirius? It's you. It's the clearest memory of you I've got - And I hate it.  
  
I remember quite easily, as it flashes before my eyes every time I see your face. I still see it as clear as I did the night it happened. I remember the blood dripping down your face; the water absorbed in the kept hair you own; the haunted expression you had as you tapped on my window.  
  
Would you think me mad if I told you how frightened I was that night? I was dying to know what happened to you. Why you had threatened your mother's health. Along with your own I'm sure - flying ten kilos on a stormy night - are you mad?! I quickly learned that you had done what you've been threatening to do since we were twelve: you ran away from home. Hurt, betrayed, abandoned, lost and worried you came to my house. And you became my brother.  
  
That had to have happened over a year ago - at least - and yet it still resounds in my head, changing my dreams into nightmares. And then I received your letter. Oh, how you never told me. You are mad, Padfoot! I'll never get tired of tell you that. Now I've got a load more to say so you must wait!  
  
I knew as soon as I read the first line that this would be about Lily. You'd thought I'd abandon you like the rest. I didn't and do you want to know why? ...It's funny how you brought up the story with the rain. Quite witty of you, Padfoot, really. You asked why I'd stay out in the rain... why? Why wouldn't I? I'm not going to lie and say that I did because I wanted to get out of the Charms exam we had the next day - that's not true. I stayed, Padfoot, because - no matter how corny this sounds - I love you.  
  
I've told you all this before, Sirius: if you're not yourself then what's the point? I saw all your acts - and I saw through them all. I'm glad I can cheer you up, Sirius. You've told me it before, maybe not directly, but you have. Now... Lily.  
  
You're right, Padfoot. I am falling for her. I'm falling for everything she stands for - everything she is. Lily is going to be a big part of my life. But she'll never be bigger than you. She'll never over run the place that I keep just for you. Quidditch on Saturday nights wouldn't been the same without you. I couldn't take Lily - she's a girl! Now... there's some things I can and cannot do with her, you know this. Nothing I'm writing is anything new Padfoot. And in no way is it made up.  
  
I'm sorry you feel this way, Sirius. I'm sorry you're feeling left behind but it's not like I can do anything about it can I? Sure maybe I could pay more attention and stop talking about Lily a lot. And I wish I could say something like, "Lily'll be gone like all the rest of them," but she won't. She's left a great impact on me. But you know who's left more than any other person I know?  
  
You.  
  
Of course you have. Don't even read this with that look of surprise on your face. You've known every single problem I've had - every mistake I've ever made and you've helped me through all of them. I to you, as well. Why didn't you tell me about your father? Why didn't you let me comfort you the way you comforted me when my mother was stolen by Voldemort?  
  
You'll never be alone. Not while I'm breathing. Not while I'm alive. But you've got to understand one thing: You're the only one. You're the only one I turn to when I want to talk. Lately, obviously, my minds been on Lily. I've been thinking about her and wanting to talk about her. About our first kiss - how happy I was that she had come to fancy me as well. Do you think anyone else knows, Sirius? Peter and Remus don't even know I love her. They don't even know that this is going well. They still believe she's just a fling to me. Remus probably hopes so - you see the way he looks at her - it's clear as day!  
  
I'm sorry that I've been busy, Sirius. I'm sorry that my life is taking control of everything - sorry you have to be brought along for the ride. Do you want to come? I can't tell if you want to anymore. If you want to feel the pain you feel with or without me. I know I haven't made as much as an effort as I should. That's the thing you always do Padfoot; make the extra effort - and I will too! There are two things you always do that I really wish you wouldn't. But I can't change you - I can only tell you what I think. I hate how you try to be someone you're not. I hate how you joke and you think that just because I'm smiling that I'm really happy. Sirius, you're the same as I am. We've spent so many times talking about this. So many times saying how smiles are false just because people want us to make them laugh. And I thought we agreed that there was no fake with us. That you and I told each other everything no matter what. If I'm being too cheery or annoying or talkative about Lily than tell me. Goddammit tell me Padfoot!  
  
... I don't mean to sound mad - or upset - or... anything but happy. I'm sorry.  
  
The second thing you always do is how you ended this letter. You always, always, always write something of great importance with great emotion in it and you end it that way. With a joke or an off-topic question. Why do you do that? Pour your heart out to me and tell me your troubles then end the letter asking me about Quidditch? I just don't get it... 

Well... I have something to tell you, as well. They say that once you get married... you become your wife (or husband's) best friend. When I ask Lily to marry me (soon, I suppose) I want you to know that you are not being replaced. Do you understand that? When you become my best man, you are my best man for a reason. If I wanted Lily to be my whole world would I even invite anyone to the ceremony? Why would I need to? I'd have Lily and that'd be all I'd need, don't you think? The truth is, you were there from the beginning - Lily came along somewhere in the middle - and I'll be damned if you're not there at the end, Padfoot, old friend.  
  
You're my best friend too. If I die tomorrow, I just want you to know that I love you, Padfoot. Like brother's are supposed to love each other. Because you are my best friend, my brother, and my twin.

Prongs

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Written by MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus in dedication to angelbud2233. ReNnY aNd MeL mEl :) Love you Blizz!! 


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